Saturday, November 17, 2007

Fallen Prospects & the Holiday's

My Rant for the holiday's, almost a year with the Toll and three with USMWF and I still hear the same old same old.

  • Why? when it has happened before.
  • Where are the rights for families?
  • Why wont the government stand up for us?
  • what can we do?
  • How can we go on without our loved one?
  • What really happened?
  • Will it happen again?
I can go on and on but regular readers know, families with a loss know, the companies know, and OSHA & MSHA know so why doesn't the public know? Why are so many of our officials oblivious? Why is the media so lax?

As Maya Angelou said “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.” and Albert Einstein said “Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe. But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes - goodwill among men and peace on earth.”

"Voicing the families grief, concern, and truth will infuse them (the Media and Government) with shades of deeper meaning and help the greatest of all causes - goodwill."
My Voice and if you can't here it now you will!

With every child I had I gazed at them smiling and wondered what they would look like, who they would be and what would they accomplish. What would our grand children be and do. One thing that is rarely discussed are the prospects we loose after a loved one is taken.

I was told to make new memories but it sure makes it tough when you only have two people left in your family and all you can think about is how excited you used to get. I was out numbered in my family. I had three brothers and then when I married my husband who fit right in the crazy mix.

My mother and I would watch all the guys make fools of themselves. The big bonfires they tried to increase every year, shooting skeet, cooking a turkey in the deep fryer just because they could make three turkeys in the time we could do one (not that we ever ate them all). Shawn's heart stopping fried potatoes which contained two full packs of bacon with every ounce of grease, onions and a brick of velveeta (we always told him we should have mashed potatoes on thanksgiving). More than anything I miss Shawn's grin, and skinny goofy arms coming toward me saying hey sis; sometimes I still hear hey sis but it get fainter each time.

I have to spend the holidays this year barring another brother Tommy; a brother who couldn't bring himself to deal with life after the loss Shawn and our stay in Kentucky and it sucks. Sometimes I ponder the good times and it keeps me from the reality that they really are gone but ultimately no matter what we do, how hard we work, how much we want it we can't change a thing. We can't even change how much we miss and love them. We can't change the hurt because we have a lifetime of memories and we still see the face of a child regardless the age of their departure.

Once enjoyable things bring a flood of tears. Learning to ride a bike and all the spills taken, the nightly wake ups for a drink and comfort. All the jokes played on one another. Helping with potty training and booboo's. The final boobo we couldn't fix, no matter how big the kiss, how cool the band aid, how good the joke, or how big a hug; there is no fix.

So please if you know someone with a loss let them know you are thinking about them. Let them know they are not alone. Let loved ones still with you know your proud to have them in your life, they do a great job and you love them. Don't live as if it is your last day; live as if it is your loved ones last. Believe me it makes a difference.

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